"So why are you still single?"

Gosh i love this question, it's right up there with some of my other favorite questions like "are you sleeping?" "and have u gained weight?" Seriously, whoever decided that it was socially acceptable to ask these questions should be dragged out into the street and shot.

But on the real though, as much as i hate this question i used to hate it soooo much more. There's so much pressure, especially for young women, to be everything; to have the great job, with the great salary and the great title, the great credit score, the great home/car/gadgets, the great social life, the great friends, great education, the great hobbies, the great health and workout routine, the flawless body/fashion/hair and makeup and of course the great relationship. and all of this greatness much be accomplished while wearing stilletos...give me a break!

There is so much pressure to be GREAT that it's quite frankly exhausting! But when things are not GREAT the first thing we do is blame ourselves and our own short comings and begin to obsessively work towards "fixing" that area in our lives; because SURELY if we work hard we can have anything we want and we can be anything we want! The only limits we have are the ones we give ourselves! I mean that's what we've been taught right?! This is America we are free, go forth live the dream! take what you want! good things come to those wait, but only the things left behind by those who hustle...that's our motto, and it's right, right?!

Wrong. Now let me explain, it's right in a lot of aspects, work hard, live your dreams, push yourself, do more, be more, life's short be ALL YOU CAN! I absolutely agree in working hard and going after what you want and your dreams! The only area where i think it doesn't work is love. Ladies (and gentlemen) I've learned this the hard way YOU CAN'T MAKE ANYONE LOVE YOU. You can be everything they ever needed and more... you can be the most beautiful and amazing person ever but if HE (or she) ain't for you, then he (or she) ain't for you. So hunny take my advice if he wants to walk let him, don't go running after him, let him GO, hell hold the door open for him! TD Jakes said "your destiny is never tied to anybody that left". Sometimes we try so hard to hold on to what God is trying to tear apart! How can He give you what you really need when your hands are full with some mess you don't need.

I don't say these things lightly or without expieriencing the lonely, I'm 25 and most of my friends are either married, have kids, or are on their way down the aisle. Do i feel left behind? sure. Do i feel out of place? all the time. Do i think it's my fault? not anymore. See i used to beat myself up saying it's got to be me, maybe if i just do this or be this maybe then he'll love me or want me or whatever...all that did was leave me hurt and still alone.

So here's what I'm thinking, I'm gonna focus on me from now on. I'm gonna quit comparing myself to every other person in the world. I'm gonna be the best me i can for me and for God. See i'm realizing for the first time in my life that my ways are not His ways, and my thoughts are not His thoughts, and my plans are not His plans. And honestly for the first time in my life i'm ok with that. I'm gonna seek Him first and let all these other things be added because He knows the desires of my heart. So, I'm gonna let Jesus take the wheel, cuz i got a feeling i might actually end up where I'm supposed to be...